See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
