Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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