If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
