Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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