Sry I called you an 8
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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