just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
