I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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