He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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