better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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