I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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