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What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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