Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have aggressive nipples.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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