sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
