Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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