I CAN MOONWALK!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
