Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
