I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
