they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
