so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I want is dick and wine.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
