i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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