fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
