I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
