so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
