When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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