Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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