im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize