Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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