I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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