Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
