Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
