Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
