Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
