I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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