my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
