New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
