Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I AM VODKA MAN
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
