just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
