First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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