i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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