who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
