Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize