Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
