Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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