Pappa wants mamma naked
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
