Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
