masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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