Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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