im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
