my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
