I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
