I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
