His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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