You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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