Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
