I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
