i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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