literally had 100 drinks last night.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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