Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
