definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
