Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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