dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I lost the right to judge tonight
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
