Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
